Easy Isn't Always Easy.

You know how there are things that every able-bodied human should be able to do? There's always at least one guy who, despite the odds being stacked in his favor, just simply cannot do those things. I think I might be that guy.

I was thinking about this last night as I fell asleep. I had a traumatizing experience at work yesterday that brought it to light. I was coaching one of the reps on my team, and at the end of our session (which went very well, and ended on a high note), he laughed and put his hand up for a high five. My stress level went from about 2 to 10 in oh, I don't know, half a second. Why, you ask? Here's the dirty truth:

I am terrible - terrible - at high fiving.

COME ON. Who can't high five? Me. I can't. I can't high five. I had a moment of panic trying to decide whether I should go for it or not - I did, but it was weak. I am totally incapable of giving the cool movie high fives where you run and smack someone's hand and it makes a totally sweet noise. Unless you want to lose an eye, don't ever expect an enthusiastic high five from me! I high five the way I imagine cotton candy or marshmallows or cotton balls might high five. My high fives are full of fluff and trepidation, and they certainly don't leave a lasting impression. I mean, of course, unless I really go for it, in which case I'll probably get my thumb stuck in your nose. It wouldn't be pretty. So I just stick with my fluffy fives.

Don't ask me why I am so bad at this - I don't know. My husband teases me mercilessly for it but I'm not even mad, I totally deserve to be teased for that. It's not like I have bad aim or my depth perception is otherwise off so I seriously don't understand where it comes from - and the ridiculous thing is that it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Someone goes for the high five, I get nervous and overthink it, and then I totally butcher it thanks to my flying hand anxiety. RIDICULOUS. I can't even deal with this.

Another example I can think of off the top of my head is a word that I can't pronounce. I can NOT say horseradish. I mean, I can say it if I say it reeeeeeally slow, but I can't say it the way that a normal person would just say an ordinary word. I always say HORSHradish and I annoy even myself with that. Maybe it's because I grew up with an English teach for a mom, but mispronunciation of words really bugs me, so the fact that I do it myself irritates me more than I can even explain.

I also can't whistle, but I don't think that's quite as outrageous as the other two, so it barely made the cut for this entry.

Honestly, I don't know how I get through life. #failure #hashtagsdontexistonbloggerbutidontcare

On the other hand, my adorable husband cannot say abominable - so at least I've got that one thing on him.

What about you? Anything you should be able to do but can't? Seriously, I'd love to know so that I don't feel ridiculous out here on my own in Not-A-Successful-Human Land.